Life Ain’t EZ

Well “when it rain it pours” as the saying goes. Someone broke into my car last weekend and trying to find the replacement glass has been stressful. To replace that small stationary glass that is basically there for style will cost me between $300-$630 depending on whether I want a new or used glass. This has been my fear ever since I moved on my own and realized my savings were depleted. A mini emergency comes up and I don’t have the funds to cover it. Just when I get off my lazy butt and started putting forth effort to build back up my savings I get this setback. This is why I’ve dumped procrastination as my friend it just leads to more trouble.

Obviously, I’m going with the cheap used glass because trying to find the funds for a brand new one is not possible now. Unfortunately and against everything I know I will  have to pay a bill or two late to come up with half the funds and my boyfriend will pay the rest. This is an expensive lesson to learn why it’s so important to save.

Published in: on October 27, 2010 at 10:47 pm  Leave a Comment  

What’s Stealing My Joy?

I realize why I’m not feeling as happy as I should. There are a few things in my life that are off-balance and I keep saying I’m going to fix it but procrastination has been my closest friend these past few months. So now is the time to end my friendship with procrastination and look for my old friend determination. I sat and analyzed what is really a sore point for me and has secretly been causing me mental grief that is spilling over into physical and emotional issues and came up with a list.

  1. my body – because of a neck injury I’m not able to do the type of exercise I want so I stopped exercising completely now I’ve gained weight which would be ok if all of it didn’t settle around my mid-section. I need to get back in shape.
  2. finances – I was in a physically and financially unhealthy relationship with my child’s father that left us semi-homeless (living in a motel) for about two months and caused severe damage to my credit so now that I’ve moved into my apt and bought my car cash my savings has dropped from thousands to a few hundreds and it’s giving me anxiety because I’m living paycheck to paycheck again and I hate it.
  3. side hustle – I’m still upset my first business venture didn’t work out but I understand the timing was off because everyone was going through financial troubles when the stock market was basically crashing and so many people were being laid off but I want to be an entrepreneur
  4. Avon – yes I’m a rep but this is not for me especially when I don’t get paid on time and since I hate owing people I pay the balance myself then wait for my customers to reimburse me and I realize every time the Avon boxes come I get upset so I think I may need to simply buy things for myself and give my customers to another rep
  5. apt – affordable, great location but not as comfortable socially because the landlord lives in the back yard so I’m always cautioning my daughter about playing in the back and making noise so she doesn’t go outside anymore. I want to move some where that she will have the freedom to be a kid and still be affordable for me.
  6. boyfriend – havent figured out why he is on this list but I know he should be here because there are times when I’m happy he’s not around

Now the list is not setup by importance or priority I’m using it to help me focus on the main parts of my life that are keeping me from being fully happy. The first and easiest thing for me to work on is my finances. I’m sure some may think Avon or my body would be the easiest choices but they aren’t and I’ll explain about that in another post. I’ve already started working on my finances by re-writing my budget and making myself save. I’ve figured out how much to put aside bi-weekly that will allow me to save $1,000 per year and have that amount of my pay check direct deposit into my savings account. I’m also looking for a new online savings account with a higher interest rate because Emigrant has dropped their interest rate from 3% all the way to 1% which sucks. When I handed in my payroll deduction sheet I felt at ease like finally I’m on my way back to financial freedom.

Well I’m off to study the rest of my list and come up with a specific goals to get what I need to bring my happy back. Then it’s off to enjoy this wonderful sunny weekend.  Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Published in: on October 23, 2010 at 11:48 am  Leave a Comment  

Locs

In the 9 years of being natural and 5 years of having my hair loc’d I’m experiencing this unexplainable itch that only occurs on the top part of my crown.  I cherish my locks very much and I’m quite upset about this because I think it has to do with my hairstylist. I’ve been going to her for about 2 years now and in the beginning she was fine but these past few months have been horrible I’m wondering if she isn’t sterilizing her equipment between  clients.

I really hope it’s not a fungus infection because I’m allergic to sulphate products and might not be able to use the medication needed to cure it.  Think I will try to get an appointment with the dermatologist and see what happens.

I think I’m going back to caring for them myself because I actually did a better job and my locks were a lot shinier. Only problem with self-care is it’s so time consuming and styling can a be a challenge sometimes because of how thick it is. I wonder if there are any natural products out there that can be used to clear up the infection if there is one.

I know you’re wondering why I’m even speaking about my locks but it represents a big part of my personality and self-esteem. I’ve wanted locks since I was six years old but then my parents were in control then in high school my boyfriend at the time said I would look ugly if I put them in by then I had shoulder length chemically straightened hair and he loved it. I let my insecurity get the best of me and didn’t take the plunge. I moved to Florida in my early twenties and that’s when I had the courage to go natural because I saw so many other women with the curly fro’s and kinky twist I fell in love with the styles. All my friends thought I was crazy to get rid of my long hair but I didn’t care in 2001 I took the plunge to natural hair and never looked back.

Being natural has given me such a great boost of self-esteem. It was such a relief not to be a slave to that creamy hair crack and having to practically break my neck to run for shelter when it rains to avoid getting my hair wet. Since moving back home I have since converted my sister to having locks and some friends found me as an inspiration and decided to go natural maybe eventually enter the lock world.

Published in: on October 17, 2010 at 5:18 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: ,

Bewildered

My life is going very well now compared to the past few years yet I’m not completely happy.  Have you ever received everything you wanted and need yet still feel unsatisfied. Is it possible that I’m so used to having chaos in my life that now things are calm I’m unable to cope.

Up until four months ago I was living at home after moving back to the islands. My mom and I were arguing over everything and it was just frustrating so I made my plans to move out. 1. get my car 2. find an apt 3. move the hell out. All three things were accomplished but now that I’m on my own I feel there is a void in my life. I know it’s because despite the arguing my mom and I are very close and not having her right there to talk to when I get home is something I’m not use to. So this part of my unhappiness I understand.

I’m currently in the most stable and drama free relationship of my life and I’m bored to death. He is loving, supportive in his own way and wonderful with my daughter. In our relationship all aspect of it is fine but we could do better in the communication area but for the most part we get along great. So what the hell is my problem? I don’t know yet why this relationship isn’t as satisfying as it should be but when I find out I will let you know.

I have my own space fully independent, I have a wonderful job that I love and I have a loving partner yet I feel no joy. I wonder if anyone else feels like this sometimes?

Published in: on October 15, 2010 at 11:45 pm  Leave a Comment  

Hello world!

This is my first attempt at blogging. Hope you find my life as interesting as I do. I have a few blogs that I subscribe to because I  like knowing I could find other people out there who felt or thought the same way I did and a few who opened me up to new ideas which is why I started my blog. It would be nice if some of you are going through the same situations I am because I always welcome good advice. Welcome to a little part of my world.

Published in: on October 14, 2010 at 3:31 am  Leave a Comment