Ball of Confusion & Anxiety

The closer I get to my pregnancy due date the more stress I feel. Really not looking forward to staying with my child’s father but I’m the one that made that decision so I’m not going to go back on my word. It’s just that we have so much unresolved issues & I’m the type of person who hates to let things sit for too long because you eventually forget what the problems were & when you do bring up the issue it’s at the wrong time.

Besides our personal issues he basically put his foot in his mouth with a situation that went down with his friend and it has now alienated him from my family which has added stress to me because I’m extremely close to my family. Not being able to have him come to my mother’s house is the main reason why I decided to move in for those first three weeks. It’s just now i have to worry about splitting the baby’s time between him, my family, his family and me instead of everyone just being able to be together at the same time.

I think having my own place would have been better since that would be a neutral spot that everyone could come to but St. Croix’s economy is so fragile right now because our oil refinery is closing at the end of April, our government has reduced salaries by 8%, raised the gross receipt taxes and done so many layoffs; private companies are closing because of the high utility bills & taxes; its just so scary right now that I’m playing it safe and just saving my money until certain situations on island are more stable and moving out makes better financial sense.

I’m a life planner & I usually have two or three plans setup in regards to what I want to do in my life so all these uncertainites is driving me insane because I just dont know what the hell to do.

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Published in: on March 21, 2012 at 12:02 am  Leave a Comment  
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