Baby Daddy Drama Arghhh!!!

I’ve always hated the term baby daddy/mama drama and up until I had my second child I was able to avoid it because my oldest daughter’s father is not involved in her life (thank God). So here comes my second daughter and her father and all the drama I missed out on with the first has caught up to me with the second. I’m no longer in love with him and up until a few days ago I still had love for him and wished him well now I just wish him dead. That is such a horrible thing to say and I don’t actually mean it but that’s where my head is now.

I know he’s still in love with me which is why he acts out but that’s no excuse to be disrespectful and threaten to kill me. It all started off a simple text that he sent stating he missed me and being with me. I said I’m sorry you’re hurting but this is how it has to be and I wish him the best. Out of the blue he says I’ve been leading him on, this is the furthest thing from the truth. I’ve constantly turned him down when he asks me out and I’ve tried to get him interested in dating other women. any offer of help he throws at me is always declined because I knew he would take it as a sign of us getting back together. I do know my biggest mistake was accepting money from him to move to my new apartment. I had the money but once I spent it I would have no savings in case of an emergency. I had thought about borrowing the money from my 401k and I sure wish I had. It took me two months to accept the money from him because I was skeptical when he said he just wanted to make sure his daughter lived in a nice place and was comfortable. In my heart I knew I shouldn’t take it but my brain was just thinking about the money I would save.

Our daughter is five months old and every month I’ve asked him to work out a visitation schedule and he never does. During the week he simply wants to send a text the night before telling me to bring his daughter in the morning; never asking if I have anything to do or places to go. On the weekend its worst, when ever he wakes up I get a phone call saying he wants to come and get her. There have been times when I’m literally going through the door and he calls asking for her.

Now that he’s upset with me he decides my daughter should start sleeping over and demands I drop her off tomorrow and he would decide when I get her back. Really!!!! I don’t think so and this begins a week of threats and harassment on my job that lead me to file a police report against him. He didn’t think I would do it and was severely pissed about it; at least it showed him that I wasnt going to tolerate his crap any more. Did I mention this was the fourth incident in the last five months plus two earlier incidents last year? I’ve been passive/aggressive for way to long and allowed this situation to become overbearing. I’m finally putting my foot down and have forced him into doing a written parenting plan discussing visits, holidays, birthdays and education when she is of age. I didnt tell him this but once I receive my tax return i’m giving him his money back. I’m sick of him telling everyone I used him for the money but that’s my fault for being weak and believing he was doing it out of the goodness of his heart.

Published in: on September 21, 2012 at 11:49 pm  Comments (2)  
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Crazy

My life so crazy right now I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I really wanna choke someone but apparently there are laws against that. I’m trying so hard to believe God has something better for me but I wonder sometimes. Its hard to keep my faith.

Published in: on September 20, 2012 at 9:51 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Alone Time

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they don’t want to be bothered. You turn off the ringer for your phone, turn down the volume on the answering machine and turn off your cell phone. Close the curtains and just lay in bed listening to the rhythm of your heart looking for clarity in the clutter called your mind.

Published in: on September 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A Change is Coming

About to make another change some people don’t think its the right time but I’m doing it any way; in case you didn’t know I have a tendency to do what I want not what other people want me to do; nine out of ten times I’m usually right and if this happens to be wrong so what I’ll learn from it and move on but I’m very sure I’m right actually I always think I’m right its just the Gemini in me 🙂 Honestly feel it’s the right move at the right time but things are going to be difficult but I’ve been through worst. As long as I have faith and believe in me everything will work out fine.
Published in: on September 4, 2012 at 11:57 pm  Leave a Comment  
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