Single Motherhood Can Be Hard

Sometimes I feel like my oldest daughter and I argue every day. She’s nine going on nineteen and showing out verbally every chance she gets. Her father offers no financial or emotional support so it’s just me. I know I can file for child support but that’s a waste of time since he has two other kids he’s on child support for and has never paid a dime in over ten years because he refuses to work. I prefer the emotional support anyway because for some reason that’s where I’m having the most stress.

Financially she is expensive but its a controlled cost that I can plan and save for but emotionally she is past my threshold of patience and understanding. It’s a constant verbal battle with her simply to get her to clean her room do the dishes pick up after herself or any basic thing you ask a child to do. Yes, I know this is a problem all parents face but its a problem that I never had before. I never had to raise my voice or punish her because she always did what she was told when I said it. Now she questions why she has to do the dishes even though this and cleaning her room are her only chores. I still do the cooking, cleaning of the entire apartment and the laundry and pay the household expenses. When I say that to her she still looks at me like I’m killing her with chores.

I’ve tried speaking to her like an adult and explaining the importance of cleaning her room especially since she shares it with her baby sister. I’ve also yelled at her about it and taken away certain privileges and placed her in punishment but all with the same results. She’s asking me to help her clean the room or help her wash the dishes and its annoying the hell out of me. Who helps me pay the bills, while she’s curl up in bed at night & I’m sweeping and mopping the apartment where is my help. When the baby is crying for attention while I’m trying to cook dinner and my oldest is demanding not asking for help with her homework where is my help. When the car needs repairs, the rent has to be paid and groceries need to be bought who helps me.

I didn’t plan to be a single parent of two; no one does, nor do I regret any of the decisions I had to make to bring me where I am today but sometimes I just have to say Where Is My Help.

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Published in: on January 20, 2013 at 1:53 pm  Comments (4)  
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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I come from a single parent family and I want to encourage you that youre doing a good job. you speak to her in a calm and loving way and it sounds like she’s just growing up. I was a good girl too and it was such a shock to my mum when i played up, but its a phase and you’ll both be fine. sounds like fundamentally your daughter is GOOD. She’s just getting some hormones and ideas of independence. Hang in there! Blessings to you and yours.

    • thank you emma for your advice and i hope this phase passes quickly…LOL. i guess i’m going to have to grow with her and try to adjust to her coming into her new personality

  2. I’m in agreement with Emma…I too was raised by a single mom and there were 6 of us. It’s never easy. I think the thing my mom didn’t do was to actually talk with us and as an adult I understand why — she needed to feel in control. But keep trying with your daughter, she’ll soon learn that you’re her best advocate ….and friend.

    • Thanks for the encouragement. I was raised by a single mom and what helped most is that she actually talked to us and listend to us. She never made us feel that what we had to say wasnt important and to this day she is still my very best friend; people who dont know us swear we are sisters. I’m hoping my daughters and I will end up having the same type of relationship.


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