Can we ever be friends?

How am I supposed to form an amicable friendship with my child’s father when he takes every gesture of kindness from me as a chance we can get back together? It’s a never ending cycle with him. First he’s ok with the break up and takes responsibility for his part in it then he’s professing his love and hopes to get back together. When I say I have no interest in having a relationship beyond friendship we go back to the anger stage and everything is my fault, I’m leading him on, we can’t be friends until we resolve our issues; we’ve been broken up for over a year now. I was two months pregnant when I called it quits. Yes we tried to work on the relationship afterwards but I just couldn’t do it. Times like this make me realize I made the right choice by not going back to him.

Last night I’m at a concert with friends having a great time and he wants to talk about our relationship. He has hope we will get back together. I believe in hurting someone with the truth instead of sparing their feelings with a lie. I told him there was no hope or chance of that to happen let’s just focus on the present and being good parents we both made mistakes so let’s learn from them and just move on. That was the right move but gave me the wrong reaction. Now I’m the bad guy once again and we can’t be friends because he feels we still have issues that’s a problem for him. I’m just so tired of this roll a coaster ride of emotions. I still feel he is suffering from some sort of depression and needs help before he crosses the line. I’ve seen him when he gets enraged which is one of the biggest reason why I left. I know if he doesn’t learn to control his anger and learn to accept situations that don’t go in his favor he’s going to do something that he will never be able to undue.

Published in: on February 17, 2013 at 3:24 pm  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Man, I’ve been there and am so sorry that you’re dealing with it. It’s a crappy situation. It took my marrying another man for my son’s father to finally get over it. However, even then, when I told him I was getting married, I was the bad guy that was going to ruin this other dude’s life too. But finally, I think, he let go.

    • hi meg, i’m hoping it doesnt take marriage because at this time I’m not even thinking about getting involved with anyone. I just pray every night he finds someone who can help me work through his issues and eventually have a loving healthy relationship with her.

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