This is My Confession – I’m Confused; A Walking Contradiction

Am I confusing desire & lust for something more? It is not my intention to enter into a committed relationship but my actions and words say something else. He is constantly on my mind and has eclipsed the thoughts of the other so completely I sometimes forget I loved him. He makes me want more even though he is not giving me more. Perhaps it’s the syndrome of wanting what you can’t have or chasing someone who is not interested in being caught. I’ve always felled the hardest for those who posed a challenge instead of the ones who openly show me love; I am so dumb. I need to treat this as it is a casual fling; simple friends with benefits arrangement the one thing I was running from but then again what was I running to. I am afraid to fall in love and avoid it at all cost so a friends with benefits situation should be exactly what I want. Maybe if he didn’t affect my senses sex and friendship would be enough but he makes me want to open up and talk, and cuddle and hug and hold hands and wake up next to him. I’m so screwed.

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Published in: on July 17, 2013 at 10:45 pm  Leave a Comment  
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