Life is Messy

life-messy

Published in: on June 3, 2016 at 11:15 pm  Leave a Comment  
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My Life

My life is an AMAZING journey & I alone am responsible for the quality of it. I regret NOTHING even the situations that ended badly.

Never regret anything in your life; it cannot be changed, undone, or forgotten so take it as a lesson learned and move on.

Published in: on January 27, 2015 at 12:12 am  Leave a Comment  

Living and Loving as an Introvert

This is the first time I’ve read an article on introverts that I truly agree with and explains how I feel. I’ve always known I’m an introvert but could never properly explain myself in a way others would understand. Antisocial, shy , & stuck up were a few of the words outsiders used to describe me that are completely false. My sisters & brothers are all extroverts every where they go they attract a crowd & thrive in that atmosphere & I’m always the one standing away from the crowd. I don’t mind being in a crowd I just don’t want to participate with them. In any large event that isn’t primarily family & close friends I’m always the one sitting at the farthest table in the back by myself & I like it that way.

dorkymum

good advice

*stands up*

*shuffles nervously*

*clears throat*

Hello. My name’s Ruth and I am an introvert.

Would you believe that it has taken me 31 years to say that?

Most of those years have been taken up with saying other things. No, I’m not anti-social. No, I’m not shy. No, it’s not that I hate people, or that I hate you, or that I’m a badly brought up Awkward Annie.

I’m just an introvert.

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Published in: on July 16, 2014 at 7:24 am  Leave a Comment  

This is My Confession – Dating with Kids

How long do you wait before you start dating when you have young children? Am I supposed to put my kitty on permanent lock down for 18 years? Why is it OK for the father to have a girlfriend or multiple partners but the mother is supposed to stay single and celibate because he doesn’t want another man around his kids or helping to raise them. This is just some more of that bullshit double standard that society is trying to shove down my throat. Who says a mother must stop being a woman once she has kids and is no longer with their dad. Why must I bury my sexual desires and need for companionship to protect a fragile ego because that’s really what it’s all about. He doesn’t want another man coming and maybe doing a better job at fatherhood and being a good boyfriend. It has nothing to do with the children in my situation, just his fear of finally owning up to the fact that he just wasn’t the one for me. In no way shape or form would I ever parade a bunch of men in front of my children. If a man ever meets them it’s after a rigorous investigation of his background, personality, character and numerous dates. I’m not going to let just anybody into my children’s life.

Published in: on June 26, 2013 at 11:55 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Tattoos Should Mean Something

I was on vacation in Florida this week and everywhere I went someone male and female were sporting tattoos. I love tattoos so I stopped and asked about them and the meaning or reason they had for getting it. Some people had good reasons but the majority just did it because they felt like it and some regretted it because it really didn’t reflect who they are. Everyone is so quick to get a tattoo without knowing why. There is no meaning behind them just the urge to follow the trend.

I have two tats, about to get a third, and they both have strong meanings for me. My first tattoo is an Ankh created out of thorns. The Ankh represents rebirth and the torns represents the hardships of my life. So this tattoo is stating that out of all the bullshit, heartaches and mistakes I was able to come out a different and better person. My second tattoo is a heart with roses and my first daughters name in it. My mom always jokes and asks if I got it because I’m afraid I won’t remember my daughter’s name. I did that one because when I had my daughter she showed me what true selfless love really is; to love someone and have them love you back and not expect anything in return is such a beautiful experience. She brought beauty to my life when it was filled with utter darkness and hate. My third tattoo will be a butterfly with my second daughters name in the wings and it will be sitting on one of the roses. This tattoo means to me that with every change in life comes something new and better.

I would like it if everyone would just stop and think about why they are getting a tattoo is it just for show or to represent who they are or a specific situation or person in their life. You have to live with them forever unless you can afford to remove them so please choose wisely.

Published in: on May 30, 2013 at 12:22 am  Leave a Comment  
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A Change is Coming

About to make another change some people don’t think its the right time but I’m doing it any way; in case you didn’t know I have a tendency to do what I want not what other people want me to do; nine out of ten times I’m usually right and if this happens to be wrong so what I’ll learn from it and move on but I’m very sure I’m right actually I always think I’m right its just the Gemini in me 🙂 Honestly feel it’s the right move at the right time but things are going to be difficult but I’ve been through worst. As long as I have faith and believe in me everything will work out fine.
Published in: on September 4, 2012 at 11:57 pm  Leave a Comment  
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I Cry

I looked in the mirror today and cried. I cried for what it is; what it was and what it  could have been.

Published in: on August 30, 2012 at 2:19 am  Leave a Comment  
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It’s My Life

What’s so wrong in doing what makes you happy? Why does everyone always want to add their two cents on what they think you should be doing? So what if I chose to have two children by two different men they weren’t your men so don’t worry about me. I work my ass off to provide for me and my children and I don’t ask for any handouts. Why do I have to stay in an unhappy relationship because society believes children are better off in a two parent home? We don’t have to be together to raise our child together. As long as we work together and respect each other our child will be just fine. So please just let me live my life and worry about your own

Published in: on August 14, 2012 at 9:18 pm  Leave a Comment  
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In Need of a Miracle

I just suffered my 2nd miscarriage in 6 months and I cant even explain how I feel. the first time it happened I was overwhelmed with sadness but now I just feel empty and cold. I live in theCaribbeanwhere its 93 degrees and I’m walking around wearing a wool jacket. I’m quite sure my coworkers and neighbors think I’ve lost my mind and maybe I have. not that I’ve gone crazy but I feel like I’m operating on auto pilot. I see what’s going on but I’m not controlling my movements. I eat because I have to u could put a plate of confetti in front of me and tell me I’m eating rice and wouldn’t notice. my interest in sex has completely stopped but I still go through the motions my boyfriend said he noticed that I’m not into it anymore I lied and said I was jus tired and I should be ok when I start exercising again I should have told him the truth but then he would want to discuss my feelings and try to be understanding but he’s not good at doing that and the conversation usually ends bad so for now a lie is better besides I know my problem my heart and head are fighting each. Mentally I don’t want another child because there is a 30% chance of another miscarriage because I  have uterine fibroids which feeds off the blood & hormones in my body and they are blocking the flow of blood needed to get to the uterus for the baby to develop. The three options presented to me to get rid of them were two options for surgery and one for a pill that would cause me to stop ovulating which will starve the fibroids and cause them to shrink but the medication brings on the symptoms of menopause like hot flashes and causes your bones to become brittle. I would have to be on it for at least 3 months with no guarantee I will be able to get pregnant or the fibroids wont come back. My heart wants to have another baby because I love kids, my boyfriend has none of his own and is an excellent step father and is the type of person who deserves to have kids and my lil girl who is lonely because she’s growing up alone. I just dont know what to do.

 

Published in: on May 28, 2011 at 12:04 am  Comments (4)  

What Future?

New year same crap. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and I don’t think we’ll make it to another year. I feel like he trying to control everything. He wants me to change how I ask questions, how I start conversations, how I spend my leisure time and what I post in my status on Facebook. Like seriously, Facebook!? I feel like I’m back with my abusive ex only this time the abuse is psychological. I mean when someone comes at you saying they don’t care how you feel it’s about their happiness and you doing what they need to be happy it makes you wonder why you’re in a relationship. A relationship to me is about two people who love each other and try to make each other happy; when did it become a situation where only one person’s happiness counts.

Published in: on January 12, 2011 at 12:01 am  Leave a Comment  
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