How You Feeling? I’m Fine

Question: How are you feeling?

Thoughts: I believe in life there are several rock bottoms; a point in your life where you’re so low that as cliché as it sounds the only choice you have is to go up cause you can’t get any lower. However, what happens when your rock bottom is a death of loved one. What happens when you weren’t prepared for that death and it drags you to the lowest point of your life. How do you resolve your feelings when you can’t change the situation. How do you go on & continue to be happy when you have this guilt, that the person whose always there for you, always happy for you isn’t there.

How can you be happy when that person’s life is at a permanent stand still. Even though it’s irrational thinking & you shouldn’t think this way & that person would want you to be happy; how can you enjoy any type of success or plan for your future when the person who’s always by your side is gone. What do you do when your cheering squad no longer cheers. How do you get rid of the sadness and guilt that you’re still alive. How can you be truly and genuinely happy & smile without bursting into tears when you think of that person.

Answer: I’m Fine

Thoughts: I keep it all inside because I rather the pain destroys me than everyone else.

Published in: on December 8, 2016 at 10:56 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , ,

I Know Your Life Ain’t EZ

I know your heart is hurting. I know you feel like nobody understands. I know you feel alone in your struggle. I know you’re tired of pretending like everything is OK. You tell people you’re fine, but on the inside you’re screaming out for help. The thought of tomorrow doesn’t bring you joy because you feel your best days are in your past. Fear drives your thoughts, not faith. The fear life won’t get better. The fear loneliness will never leave your presence. The fear your prayers aren’t received. DON’T LET FEAR TAKE YOUR LIFE.

I know it sounds cliche but be thankful for your struggle because it’s making you stronger than ever. Your perseverance in times of despair shows others they can make it. I know you can’t see it right now, but you provide HOPE for so many lives. Someone is always watching you be it your child, niece nephew sister or friend someone is silently looking to you for guidance, strength, and hope that things will get better. You are the LIGHT in someone’s life. You are the reason someone woke up today. YOU ARE IMPORTANT! Do not let life struggles blind you to this fact.

Published in: on January 28, 2015 at 12:23 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , ,

When in Doubt

10411844_615858745206413_2153656953406403897_n

Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, thinking of all the battles you have to fight, and all the fears you have to overcome…

Reach inside yourself, pull out your inner warrior, face the world and fight for the life you want.

You were not given a good or bad life you were just given life, its up to you to make it good or bad.

Published in: on January 18, 2015 at 12:01 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , ,

Just Breath

If only for today I ask that you release all doubts about yourself, the mistakes of the past and the fear of the future…in this minute this second just breathe and enjoy the moment…revel in the fact that you may not be healthy but you are alive you may not be rich but you continually provide for yourself & family…realize you may not have everything you want but you have been blessed with everything that you need.

Published in: on January 5, 2015 at 11:26 pm  Comments (2)  
Tags: , , ,

Let Go of What You Cannot Change

You cannot change people. If you base your peace and level of happiness on the attitudes and actions of others, you will find yourself consistently disappointed. Do not allow the things you cannot change (people) to become a source of unnecessary frustration and negativity in your life. You can speak up for yourself and not allow the behavior to be directed towards you or around you but you cannot stop the person’s behavior. Definitely set clear & specific boundaries with the people in your life. For example, I don’t permit “drama” in my life. I do not allow people and situations that are negative into my life. I just don’t have time for them, shoot I have plenty of my own. When I am being pulled into such situations I make it clear that certain conversations, situations and actions are not acceptable to me and I won’t take part. Set what boundaries you need to in order to keep peace and serenity in your life.

Published in: on January 3, 2015 at 11:23 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , ,

Loving Me & Putting Myself First

If we go by what the bible states Eve was created to be Adams companion so basically women have a biological urge to be with someone however I believe we often let that urge coupled with sexual tensions over power our good sense & engage in unhealthy relationships. We want love so badly that we lower every thing about ourselves; our standards, self-esteem, self-respect & forget to love ourselves not realizing by not knowing our own worth we prevent other people from knowing it as well. The first person to show you love & respect is yourself. People learn things by seeing & doing do so we must love & respect ourselves so the person we allow in our lives knows what they must do to be stay in our life..its ok to put someone else’s needs ahead of yours as long as you don’t forget your own. Just my humble thoughts & observations as I learn to show myself love & respect.

Published in: on August 11, 2014 at 11:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , ,

What I’m Learning in Therapy – To Make Better Decisions

Nearly every problem you face is temporary but it may not seem that way when we are going through it. Temporary problems can cause immediate & long-term pain which causes us to make irrational & unhealthy choices that is not in alignment with our beliefs or character.

One way I’m learning to make better long-term choices, that will resolve my short-term situation, is simply by stepping away from it & giving myself some time to think.

The idea behind this is to make better decisions by ensuring my behavior matches my beliefs. I think about my immediate reaction & what long-term effects it may have. I ask myself will I be able to respect myself if I do this? Is this in line with the type of person I want to be? Will I regret my actions? If I answer no to any of these questions then I know I have to come up with a better solution.

Published in: on June 22, 2014 at 8:02 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , ,

The Challenge I Faced in Trying to be Grateful Each Day

At the beginning of the week this was hard but not difficult to do however I definitely reached a road block today. It took me hours to come up with a post I almost decided to quit completely but having to force myself into finding the good in a bad day helped me to gain a different perspective on the entire weeks events & how I responded to them. I realized I was letting the negativity from the previous days cloud my thoughts for today which is why it was difficult to come up with a post. I realized I was trying to ignore the negative and just focus on what was good but i realize that’s not what is meant by being grateful. You have to accept bad things do happen but focus on the good & allow it to balance out the negative aspects of life.

Published in: on June 22, 2014 at 7:19 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , ,

How Do I Make it Through the Day

I’ve had unbelievable highs and lows – I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like giving up. Everything seemed to go wrong and it left me feeling hopeless. It left me feeling like I couldn’t do anything right.

However I’ve always managed to pick myself up and keep going. In the beginning there was this little voice in my head which said “this is your ONE & ONLY life, God did not intend for you to live unhappy”. I now have two precious little angels who give me the added incentive I need to get up each morning.

I’m grateful for that little voice & my angels, because it really has kept me holding on, but sometimes finding the strength and courage isn’t easy. So this is what I constantly tell myself:

1. Believe in yourself & have faith in God—you have to choose to believe that god has given you the tools you need to succeed in life.

2. Acknowledge & accept that life is not a movie, bad things do happen & sometimes there is no happy ending, it’s a part of life; give yourself five minutes to throw a pity party then move on.

3. Take time for yourself; #stress can kill you; always take some time to just relax, de-stress & detox from all the negatives that were thrown at you this week; give yourself some time to recuperate.

4. Always have HOPE & be Grateful!

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this and what keeps you motivated. I think it’s so important for us to talk about this and gain strength from each other!

#ImStillLearning ©

Published in: on May 18, 2014 at 6:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , ,

Where Have I Been—-In Therapy

I pretty much hit rock bottom and the thoughts of suicide were becoming overwhelming. With two young children and no stable fathers in the picture I decided it was finally time to seek help. I have been seeing a therapist during my absence and its a very strange situation. I’m thoroughly against going on medication so we are doing talk therapy and trying to re-train my brain (as I refer to it) into processing situations as they happen and dealing in the present instead of trying to think 20 steps ahead and all the outcomes being worst than the last, in my mind that is.

Like I said it’s a struggle and I’m realizing a lot of the past that I buried deep in my mind has been severely affecting my present. I guess ignoring shit isn’t a legitimate way to deal with hurtful situations. I’m being forced to evaluate my irrational fears of inadequacy and failure and embracing the fact that my life isn’t as horrible as I constantly think it is. this is in hopes that I will not turn minor setbacks into tidal waves that lead to suicidal thoughts. My therapist suggested I find an outlet for my stress which is why I created my Facebook page. When I’m feeling overwhelmed I use it as a way turn my situation into something positive. Writing a positive post strangely causes me to feel better so I’m sticking with it until it stops working. I’ll post some of my post on here as well so I can hear from all of you.

Wish me luck because I have a very long way to go.

Published in: on May 18, 2014 at 6:43 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , ,