Know your worth!

You deserve honesty. You deserve transparency. You deserve someone who respects you enough to never lie to your heart. You deserve appreciation. You deserve loyalty. You deserve someone who would never abuse your trust. You deserve love. You deserve someone who would still be there for you even when everyone else has walked away. You deserve someone who’s real. Never settle for less. Written by Trent Shelton
Published in: on January 3, 2015 at 11:25 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Loving Me & Putting Myself First

If we go by what the bible states Eve was created to be Adams companion so basically women have a biological urge to be with someone however I believe we often let that urge coupled with sexual tensions over power our good sense & engage in unhealthy relationships. We want love so badly that we lower every thing about ourselves; our standards, self-esteem, self-respect & forget to love ourselves not realizing by not knowing our own worth we prevent other people from knowing it as well. The first person to show you love & respect is yourself. People learn things by seeing & doing do so we must love & respect ourselves so the person we allow in our lives knows what they must do to be stay in our life..its ok to put someone else’s needs ahead of yours as long as you don’t forget your own. Just my humble thoughts & observations as I learn to show myself love & respect.

Published in: on August 11, 2014 at 11:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Learning to Speak Positively About Myself

There are too many people in this world speaking negatively about you so there is no reason to add your own voice to the mix. The way you speak about yourself does affect your life.

Your circumstances whether negative or positive does not define who you are they’re just pieces of the puzzle. Stop saying and thinking you are not smart enough, talented enough, attractive enough or good enough. You are all those things and more stop blocking the blessings God has for you.

If you say negative things about yourself and the people around you agree with you then its time to change your circle. You need to surround yourself with people who breathe life and encouragement into you. If you are constantly in a somber mood when you’re around someone it’s time to re-evaluate that relationship.

Negativity attracts negativity & you cannot lead a positive life if the people in your circle are not on the same journey.
#ImStillLearning ©

Published in: on May 18, 2014 at 6:05 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Dear John

I’m sorry I’ve been distant these past few weeks but I just needed to sort some things out. I believe it’s best for me to go back to how I was and just focus on the kids and nothing else. I thought I could do the casual sex, friends with benefits thing but it’s not for me. I want someone to cuddle and kiss without it leading to sex. I want visits because he wants to actually see me, talk with me, spend some time around me not because it’s his weekly sex visit. I said I wanted a relationship without the commitment but that’s contradictory to what I actually need. I need some level of commitment, not on the level of being exclusive but committed to spending time together outside of the bedroom getting to know one another to see if we could be exclusive. I want someone who thinks I’m worth making time for. So once again let me apologize because this situation is completely my fault. You were simply following my lead not realizing I was leading us off a cliff. Hopefully I haven’t scarred you too much mentally and you won’t make the next lady you are interested in suffer for the craziness I put you through.

Published in: on August 29, 2013 at 10:22 pm  Leave a Comment  
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This is My Confession – I’m Confused; A Walking Contradiction

Am I confusing desire & lust for something more? It is not my intention to enter into a committed relationship but my actions and words say something else. He is constantly on my mind and has eclipsed the thoughts of the other so completely I sometimes forget I loved him. He makes me want more even though he is not giving me more. Perhaps it’s the syndrome of wanting what you can’t have or chasing someone who is not interested in being caught. I’ve always felled the hardest for those who posed a challenge instead of the ones who openly show me love; I am so dumb. I need to treat this as it is a casual fling; simple friends with benefits arrangement the one thing I was running from but then again what was I running to. I am afraid to fall in love and avoid it at all cost so a friends with benefits situation should be exactly what I want. Maybe if he didn’t affect my senses sex and friendship would be enough but he makes me want to open up and talk, and cuddle and hug and hold hands and wake up next to him. I’m so screwed.

Published in: on July 17, 2013 at 10:45 pm  Leave a Comment  
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This is My Confessions – Relationships Should Have Conditions

If I’m giving my heart, body and soul into loving and sharing my life with someone I expect the same in return. All relationships should have conditions. Each person should know what the other person will or won’t accept. We all have deal breakers. I’m not going to tolerate, excuse or put up with any form of disrespect, lying, cheating or abuse of any kind. I will be there for you and with you if you are loyal, supportive and keep the lines of communication open and work as hard as I will to make each other happy. What I expect from you is what you will get from me. The instant I start to feel unappreciated, neglected, or disrespected I will make my feelings known but I’m not a nag. I will express myself clearly and repeatedly twice maybe three times but that is it because if you didn’t understand me the first two times then you damn sure won’t the last and that would be my cue to leave. When I stop speaking, caring and listening you know it’s over and I don’t do repeats so once I’m gone I’m gone forever.

Published in: on June 27, 2013 at 9:54 pm  Comments (1)  
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This is My Confession – Sexual Expression

I am not shy but coy. I play the innocent so as not to seem eager for it is frowned upon in society. In this double standard world that I live in I cannot freely express my love for sex or I would risk the chance of being labeled a slut. I must pretend to be reserved and submissive and not asked to be fucked but sweetly smile, flutter my eyelashes and softly ask can we make love. There is nothing wrong with making love but we are still animals and sometimes you simply want be bent over a chair and fucked. You want your hair pulled, assed smacked and bite marks on your neck. You want to wake up the next morning feeling like you’ve been in a fight because you’re sore all over. If I must be submissive then let it be while I’m tied to a bed being teased beyond mercy begging him to fuck me. If I must be submissive let it be while I’m stroking him with my tongue and he holds my head as he squirts so I can swallow his lovely cum then proceed to suck him dry until pleasure turns to pain. However as I stated before I cannot show that side of me, it must be kept hidden until I find someone willing to bring it out of me and show me how sex is really supposed to be. I believe, no, I know my sexual experience is severely lacking. I just hope and pray one day I will find the one with no sexual hang-ups willing to teach me all he knows.

Published in: on June 27, 2013 at 12:12 am  Leave a Comment  
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This is My Confession – I Don’t Want to be in Love

I don’t want to be in love. To be in love is to make yourself vulnerable to hurt, rejection, disrespect, jealousy….etc. etc. Why should I give someone the power to hurt me? Why give your heart to someone when you are not sure they will take care of it. In the beginning they will tell you everything you want to hear; you’re beautiful, you’re sexy, and I love you. They treat you nice just long enough for you to let your guard down start to love them give them every single part of you then they change. No, they don’t change they simply drop the charade of Mr. Nice Guy. They start to treat you like your nothing. Make you feel ugly, worthless and inadequate until you actually start to believe their bullshit that you should be grateful they want you because no one else will. You end up losing yourself and self-respect because you want to please someone who really doesn’t deserve you. You continue to put up with the lies and cheating fooling yourself into thinking eventually Mr. Nice Guy will come back and things would go back to normal. You forget that the normal you are hoping for was just a fantasy and your current situation is your reality.

Published in: on June 27, 2013 at 12:02 am  Leave a Comment  
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This is My Confession – Failed Relationships

In every failed relationship I believe you lose a piece of yourself. You no longer do the things you used to love because you used to do it with him. You stop believing in love. You turn your emotions off in fear you will fall in love again. You slowly withdraw from people and situations that will bring you into contact with smiling couples which makes you wonder what is wrong with you, why you couldn’t make your relationship work. Happy looking couples that make you remember you’re alone, and then you start to remember how it felt to lay in someone’s arm after making love thinking it would last forever. Then you wonder if maybe you should try again; open your heart to someone, become vulnerable again to disappointment, rejection, lies, cheating and lack of appreciation with the sliver of hope that you will receive love, affection, respect, loyalty and appreciation at the same level and intensity that you give it. Once again you ask yourself should I try again. Can my heart handle it or will this be the last blow that shatters it so infinitely that love is no longer a memory but a hallucination.

Published in: on June 26, 2013 at 11:21 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Should have kept him as Just a Friend

I’m in love with someone or have been in love with someone for four years and I can’t get him out of my mind. I have moved on into other relationships with the hope of getting him out of my system but it only leads to the end of the relationship and stronger feelings for him. The crazy part about this is if we weren’t friends before we were lovers I wouldn’t feel this way. I have an unhealthy fixation on him not the stalking type but the comparison of others to him. Quite frankly no one makes me feel like he does.

When we started and ended our affair four years ago it was never with the intention of me developing any feelings for him. I honestly don’t know if he ever felt anything more than friendship for me because I’m afraid to ask. He gets upset when I try to play it off like it was just sex to him and tells me I should ask him how he feels instead of ASSuming but nope, I’m just to scared of the answer. And yes we are definitely still friends and can count on each other and talk to each other when we are in need or just to say hi. That’s what I love about him he’s a great friend yes I know he cheated with me but it was never intentional. We were both going through a rough patch and gave each other what we needed unfortunately, call it my female genes, I fell in love and have not been able to fall out of love because of the friendship. We don’t argue but we do disagree, we can talk about anything or just chill in a comfortable silence, we both like sports and playing video games and just love to have a good time.

Since we still have such a good connection even after sleeping together it’s hard to put him back in the just friends’ category. Do I feel guilty? Yes, every damn day I wake up the guilt sits on my chest. He’s been engaged for two years now & I’ve asked why he won’t set a date & his response is always the same; he doesn’t know why but he just can’t set a date. He claims he’s not ready I tell him it’s the guilt but I don’t want him to tell her or she might leave him & take the kids. I’ve tried to end the friendship in hopes of alleviating his guilt (you know the cliché out of sight out of mind) but that never last for more than a week either him or I would call or text. We’ve been such a big part of each other’s lives that it’s hard for us not to share the ups & downs we go through.

We’ve been friends for nine years and shared everything like a brother and sister would so how do I end a friendship that has been such an important part of my life.

Published in: on May 3, 2013 at 11:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
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